Your name is ARTIE REMUSS. You've landed yourself into quite the predicament. You hate your current dwelling in the basement of your (human) friend's home. Sure, she's nice and all, but you'd rather be at home in Alternia with your best friend BASSI. He's good company. Stupid as fuck, but still good company.
You look around the basement, and you remember what you were looking for: your copy of Mary Shelly's Frankentroll. BASSI gave it to you a few years back because of your obsession with old movie monsters. It's one of your most cherished possessions, but you've chosen not to let BASS know about it. You're not a weakling.